And another great day...

Of course..I've only been up for 8 hours so it's not like I've had time to have a bad day... I didn't go to sleep till 8:30 this morning.. How crazy is that? But, I got up and got ready and then went to a movie with Kati. We watched Quarantine and it was THE worst movie ever. Halfway through, we were saying "PLEASE DIE SO THIS MOVIE CAN END." Seriously, horrible. Now I've been home just hanging out and eating pumpkin pie!! Sami (my sister's dog) just walked to the window and started barking...It was pretty freaky. Mom will be home in less than 24 hours. I am SO excited! I've missed her like crazy and I can't wait to show her Kinleigh's new clothes! Oh and perfect timing- Our dryer is going out.... It takes like 4 cycles to get 1 load dry....It sucks.
So I've been really proud of myself for actually understanding all the stuff in my accounting class...Well, now, we're doing "Inventories" and I have been trying for 3 days to figure out and I can NOT figure it out.... It's driving me crazy! Well I don't really have anything to say..I was just bored....

It's been a good day..

Today has been good... I didn't go to sleep till about 6:30 so of course I didn't get up till 5ish... After that, I got ready and had dinner w/ my besty, Kati. Then we came back and hung out then watched Grey's. I really don't remember the last time I have laughed so hard or so long. We had so much fun... I found out mom is coming home Saturday night instead of Sunday morning which makes me VERY happy! I miss her! I talked to her today and she said the storm was over so at least their last day down there will be pretty!
Today, Derek got me hooked on the Red Sox. I started watching the game tonight and it was INTENSE!!! I'm excited about Game 6 on Saturday!
I really really think that Kinleigh will be here this time next week... My contractions are still far apart, every other hour usually, but the pressure down there is getting CRAZY!!!! I'm so excited!
Kati and I are going to a movie tomorrow night. Quarantine! It looks very scary which I love... Maybe if I get scared enough, it'll speed up this process! =)
If she's not here by Tuesday, hopefully when I go to the doctor that morning, he'll be like "alrighty lets go to the hospital." I'll be bummed if he says it's gonna be another week..I mean I know he told me possibly 2 more weeks when I went this past Tuesday, but my hopes are up that it's closer to 1 week...

I have SO much homework that I need to get done PRONTO so that when she gets here, I don't have to freak out while I'm in the hospital... So I'm gonna go get on that! Have a great weekend!

It's started...

So.... I went to the doctor today. As bad as I wanted to be dialated, I had myself convinced that I wasn't, that I still had awhile to go... I was wrong! I'm dialated to 1cm... He said my cervix is still thick, so if I'm effaced, it's just barely... But, her head is down so that's good. The doctor said he'd like for me to go 3 more weeks but that he thinks between 1 and 2 weeks... It's scary. I'm excited though. My mom will be home Sunday afternoon so anytime after that, I'm good.

On other news... please tell me how it makes sense to push your pregnant ex away, but rekindle a friendship w/ your other ex who over the past year, you have said you hated.... And when I ask a certain person about this, the response was... "I'm trying to get all the bad out of my life, and let go of the past." Can anyone explain that to me? I'm all about moving on and blah blah freakin' blah, but after you have repeatedly put her down and tell me how bad you can't stand her for a year, AND when we both know that she's been waiting on this like a freakin Ethiopean child waits for a juicy steak, that just goes over the line...Again. Oh well... Maybe he'll wake up once she gets here...We'll see.

I'll keep yall updated on the baby progress!

Where to start...

Everything was fine...I mean, for the most part anyways. Yes things had been weird for the past few weeks but we're about to have a baby... I told myself we were both just super stressed and nervous, that was why everything was weird. I was wrong. Bad wrong. He said he didn't know why he had been acting weird and different but that he just didn't think it was going to work... I don't understand. We had plans. Not just "what are we doing next weekend" plans, but big plans. Marriage plans... Guess it was all a joke. The best part about this whole freaking situation is this... Normally, when you get your heartbroken, you can take as long as you want to feel better...Months and months if you want to. Do I get to do that? No. I get, at the most a few weeks to suck it up and feel better because once Kinleigh gets here, she's my number 1 responsibility and it's not fair to her to have a mother who's moping around being sad all the time. My eyes are crazy puffy from crying myself to sleep the past 2 nights. I'll be just fine then I think of something and the waterworks start again. Normally, I would go on about a week long drinking binge w/ my besties and then feel better...Not this time though. I actually have to work through the pain soberly and it sucks. I can't even have a glass of champagne to wind down. What really really pisses me off is before him, I didn't compromise. It was my way or the highway. Then I met him and we got pregnant and I started making all these plans that were totally against what I had always planned for myself and then I get screwed over. I totally did NOT want to live in Birmingham. It's just not my favorite place. But, that's where he wanted to live so I was going to do it. Another thing, his family was HORRIBLE to me the first 8 months of my pregnancy but because they were his family, and Kinleigh's family too, I kept being the bigger person thinking that one day, I'd be married to him so they'd be my family too.... That got me no where except for heartbroken and alone... And I WAS DONE. I had found the love of my life. We were going to be married and raise Kinleigh and have more kids and be happy... Now, I'm back to where I started. I really don't understand it at all. We were happy. We were in love. Now we're not together. How does that happen? Why does it happen? It's not fair. I'm a firm believe in everything happens for a reason but I am not happy about this at all...